Confession: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Read Books

Doesn't Like to Read

*GASP*

Yup, it’s true. I’m dating a guy who doesn’t love books.

Culprit

But that’s actually okay! Sure, there are definitely times when I wish that we could sit on the couch together, curled up under a fluffy blanket, and read together while drinking cups of hot cocoa and snuggling. But I’ve actually gotten quite used to the fact that we don’t share a love of books.

I’m mostly okay with it because it’s not like Brent is uneducated or doesn’t like to read in general, it’s just that he’s not really a novel kinda guy. He spends a lot of time reading news stories and stuff like that instead, while I’m sitting there with The One in my hands. I’m pretty sure that I’m the one who should be embarrassed in that situation 😉

I like that, because of this, we’re constantly sharing different things with each other. I’ll tell him about the latest book I’m reading and he’ll blow my mind with some space facts. It’s nice that we have different interests! We’re always learning things from the other person.

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And the best part is…he doesn’t take up any of my bookshelf space! I seriously don’t think I would be able to deal if I had to share half of my bookshelves with my significant other. That’s precious space, people!! I’ve already got books stacked every which way to try to make them all fit. I don’t need somebody else putting their books on my shelves. No, thanks.

It’s also cool because, while he’s definitely not really a book person, he does read occasionally. Like, for example, he’s obsessed with the A Song of Ice and Fire series. And so am I! So we still get to fangirl with each other about a few special books, but the rest of the time we’re doing our own thing.

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Since reading is something I’m really passionate about, it’s almost kind of nice that I’m not dating somebody with that same exact passion. Occasionally I wish we could bond over it more, but most of the time I’m glad that I get to have my “own thing.” There’s plenty of things that we share love over — like television shows and animals — but reading? That’s all mine.

But he’s still interested enough that he’s not rolling his eyes and tapping his watch when I want to gush about my new favorite series. At least most of the time, he’s not 😉 It’s the perfect balance!

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Have you ever dated a guy who didn’t like to read? Did you like it or not like it? In a perfect world, would your partner be a book lover just like you?

 

 

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19 responses to “Confession: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Read Books

  1. Great post! I relate so much. My boyfriend is the same way. He occasionally falls in love with a book, but mostly he’s “the science/math guy” and I’m “the reading girl” and while that has it’s downfalls, it can be cool to learn from each others interests!

  2. My husband doesn’t read books. Ever. In fact, in the 15ish years that I’ve known him, he’s read exactly ONE book, which I gave him last year for his birthday (it was a memoir on a subject he’s into).
    But, he does like reading current events/news type articles, as well as things like NPR.

    He doesn’t mind my book habit and I don’t mind his gaming habit. It works for us 🙂

  3. Okay, I’m not trying to be like, creepy, or anything, but Brent has really nice eyes. Those are Dean Winchester green O_O

    Anyway… I love how he’ll still listen to you fangirl! I think that’s the important part about any relationship: be respectful and listen to each other’s interests, whether or not they’re also your own. I’ve dated… two guys (I think? Did Charles count?? I’m thinking no), and one of them was a reader. Although he was a huge fan of historical fiction, and I’m not, so it was nice that we could talk about our different interests. We both read The Hangman’s Daughter by Oliver Potsch, and he actually introduced me to The Scarlet Pimpernel!

    • Haha yes he does have nice eyes! I like them, too. But they’re mine, sorry 😛

      I think that would be kind of nice, too…dating somebody who liked to read, but wasn’t necessarily super into the same genres as you. I don’t know if I could deal with somebody who liked the same exact books as me. I mean, I’d guess we’d save money on buying books haha, but I feel like that might get annoying or be hard to deal with sometimes. And I think it could lead to fights if you didn’t have the same opinion about certain books or something. But being able to read together and enjoy the same books some of the time sounds nice.

      What do you think would be your “ultimate guy” when it comes to reading? Somebody who liked pretty much all the same kinds of books as you, somebody like the reader guy you already dated, or something who wasn’t really that into reading at all?

      • That’s okay, you can keep him, as long as I get Dean 😉

        Ultimate guy… hmm… He doesn’t have to read all my favorite books, or even be an avid reader, but at least be open-minded. Actually, as long as I date a guy who is interested in learning, whether it’s through tv or reading or whatever, that will work for me. He just needs to love knowledge, I guess 🙂

  4. My boyfriend does like to read, but he doesn’t read very often. We go to the same uni and our workload is really heavy; and his anxiety means that he finds the workload a bit more difficult to get through and more stressful than I do, so that means he doesn’t have much time for reading, and even when he does, he says that he can’t really concentrate on it. (This means my plans for me and him to do joint reviews for Mental Health Awareness Month are kind of failing… precisely because of his mental health issues. It’s a little ironic!)

    He likes to read a lot of non-fiction books as well, which I don’t like to read at all. Like, books on history and languages and stuff like that. But he also reads fantasy books, which is something we have in common. I haven’t read a lot of the fantasy books that he has though. I still need to get round to ASoIAF! And he’s read The Name of the Wind which he said was really good and that I should read, but I still haven’t got round to it yet.

    But yeah, I don’t think it would bother me if my boyfriend didn’t like to read at all, as long as he didn’t think it was weird that I liked to read and he didn’t mind if I babble at him about books sometimes. Although I find it hard to imagine liking anyone who doesn’t read at all… I’ve been surrounded by book-lovers all my life! It just seems so natural to me. Anyway, I’m not interested in video games, which my boyfriend loves, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing him talk about video games! I think it’s fine to like different things as long as you respect what your partner likes. It is nice to have your own thing. (:

    • I know where your boyfriend is coming from…I had SUCH a hard time reading any books while I was in college. It was so stressful, and I was already reading all the time for classes. The last thing I would want to do in my time off from homework, classes, and work was read haha. But now that I’ve graduated, I get to read all the time 🙂 Hopefully the same thing will happen to him. Sorry your joint reviews aren’t working out :/

      WHAT?! You need to read ASoIaF RIGHT NOW, missy! That’s an order. Those books are freaking amazing.

      Hmm that’s interesting. Almost none of my friends are readers. I think I have…one? who likes books. And my Dad reads, but mostly nonfiction history stuff so, like, that barely counts 😛 I’m so used to being around people who don’t read, so I guess it seemed natural to be dating somebody like that, too. But even though he doesn’t really like to read, he still reads more than pretty much all my friends, so that’s good 🙂

      Thanks for your awesome long comments!! 😀

  5. A lot of my best friends don’t read and my parents HATE reading so I can kind of relate. You make a great point about having your own passion though, something that’s just yours. Plus if I ever get lonely or want someone to fangirl with that’s what the blog is for 😉

    • Yeah, definitely! That’s a really good point…maybe it would bother me more if I didn’t have a book blog. Because there are always tons of people I can talk about books with if my boyfriend doesn’t want to listen! It might be more depressing if I didn’t have this community to turn to 🙂

  6. At least he is cool with bookish ramblings! I think it’s fine when you have different interests. That’s to be expected, but as long as it’s not an eye-rolling “ugh will you please stop talking about xyz” then everyone can do what they want. One of my very best friends loves stories and used to love reading, but she never ACTUALLY reads anymore. I can’t recommend books because she just doesn’t read. I think it’s super strange but I’m gonna keep her anyway. 😀

    • Haha that’s cute. I think I’m going to keep mine, too.

      But that’s so strange that she used to like reading and now doesn’t! What happened? So weird. I can’t imagine ever stopping reading. It’s the best!

  7. Haha, I think we can all relate! Dave definitely isn’t a reader. Before I dated him, I think he boasted that he had read three books in his life?! The horror! :O

    I was actually pleasantly surprised because for Christmas I ordered him a book based off the online computer game he plays all the time – Eve. He had mention maybe getting it before so I thought why not? And he actually read it! And liked it! And bought the second one! And read that one!

    It was just the most crazy feeling going on the train and sitting next to him with both of us reading a book. It was like my little book nerd dreams come true!

    And of course I then got to flip the experiences onto him (like interrupt him while reading to see how he liked it, muhahaha)!

    But ah, all good things must come to an end, right? Dave only ever read while traveling, and a month or so ago he bought a new phone. So what does he do while traveling now? Not read.

    So it was a short lived five months of my boyfriend being a reader, but I think it’s officially over. Shucks. But I don’t mind. Like you said, there’s a lot of benefits to dating someone who doesn’t read! And I never dated him in hopes he’d be a reader in the first place, so it doesn’t bother me at all! 🙂

    • I love your story! I can totally relate…

      Recently (ironically, right before this post ended up going live), Brent spontaneously decided that he wanted to get more into reading! We were at the library picking up a book for me, and he was looking around and then came up to me like, “….Can I get this one?” Ummmmmmmmmm YES! OF COURSE YOU CAN GET A BOOK FROM THE LIBRARY! 😀 Totally made my day. And now, for the last two weeks or so, he’s been reading a book every few days! He even joined Goodreads! I’m astonished. I’m sure this little phase of his won’t last forever, just like Dave’s, but it’s kinda cool while it’s lasting 🙂

  8. My boyfriend doesn’t like reading either. He’s more a gaming and math geek. I’ve made peace with it and it’s actually nice now. We both have our things that we love and so we always have room to breathe. Sometimes I read aloud to him and he has finally caught on to buying me books! So that’s cool.
    I used to kind of wish that I would have a boyfriend who would gush over books with me… but I’m beginning to think that’s just over-rated. I’m happy with things the way they are!

    • Sometimes I read aloud to mine, too! I didn’t think other people did that haha. So cool 🙂

      I think you’re right…it’s overrated. Our boyfriends are fine the way they are, with their own interests 🙂

  9. It’s great having different interests! My situation is a little different – my boyfriend likes to read (YA books, too) he just has trouble finding the motivation to do so. So it works out well. I read all the books, and I tell him which ones I think he will enjoy. Whether he takes up my recommendation is a different story all together.

    But yeah, having different interests, while still being interested in each other works very well and is super fun! For example. my boyfriend is super interested in MMA fighting (*internally groans*) but because I listen to him and take some interest in it, I totally understood everything In Katie McGarry’s Take Me On. Who would have guessed my worlds would collide in such a way? 😛

    BTW – Brent has amazing eyes in that second photo. Like, woah.

    • Haha that’s kind of cool. It’s like you’re his own personal Goodreads or something 😛

      Oh that’s so cool! About the MMA and Katie McGarry crossover thing. That’s awesome. I kind of had that same sort of thing when I read Jodi Picoult’s Lone Wolf. Brent loves wolves, so it was neat to get to learn more about them and understand why they’re such awesome animals. And after hearing me talk about the book, now he’s reading it, too!

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