I’m Bisexual… #LGBTApril

LGBTMonth001

 

If you follow me on Twitter or know me more personally, this probably won’t come as too much of a surprise. But…I’m bisexual. It’s not something that I like to broadcast, but I figured why not write a post about this since it’s #LGBTApril? It’s the perfect time to come out of the closet!

I actually wouldn’t say that I’m really in the closet, though. All of my friends and family know, and it’s not something that I go out of my way to hide

But I don’t go out of my way to shout from the rooftops that I’m not straight, and if you’re a casual reader, you probably just assumed that I was. Especially because I have a long-term boyfriend that I talk about fairly often! The truth is, though, that I’m not. And it’s something that I’ve known about myself since I was 11 years old.

The reason I don’t like talking about it very much is because I feel like female bisexuals are really stigmatized. Not in the homophobic sense, even, but in the way that everybody just kind of laughs it off…like I’m just some drunk girl in a bar who makes out with other chicks to score free drinks. But that’s so not who I am at all.

 

40799_1413907316224_5582938_n

 

What it is like is…falling in love with your best friend in junior high and then, 6 years later, watching her fall in love with you, too…never understanding girls who freak out over “hot guys” because there’s only like 20 men you’ve ever been really attracted to in your whole life…not having “book boyfriends” because what you actually want is to kiss the heroine.

Yes, I do have a serious boyfriend. But my sexual identity is about so much more than that. If I had to describe it in clearer terms, I’d probably say something like…I’m 70% lesbian and 30% straight. So even though I’m dating a guy, I’m still almost exclusively attracted to women. But, luckily, sexism and horny men exist, so my boyfriend has no problem with me flirting with girls, even though I’m sure he’d have a coronary if I did the same thing with a guy. I’m not sure if that’s technically “right,” but there’s no user’s guide to living life as a bisexual, so I’m making up my own rules as I go. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be with a girl again one day. It could totally happen.

 

30306_1350526411741_2164726_n

 

But I do struggle with the fact that I want to be proud of my sexual orientation yet, from the outsider’s perspective, I just seem like a straight girl: I have a boyfriend, I’m really girly, I went to Catholic school. I totally get why people would automatically assume that I’m straight. It’s just so obvious. But, actually, it’s not.

So sometimes, like with the blog, it’s just easier to not ever really talk about it. I mean, what am I going to do? Just randomly slip it into conversation or put it on my “About Me” page? And it doesn’t really just come across in my posts like it might if, say, a gay guy were writing this blog. So it would feel weird to specifically highlight it, yet it’s also weird to seem like I’m hiding it. And it’s not an easy thing to just say, either. Like…I’ve written this whole post just explaining the fact that I’m bisexual. Because there is a stigma attached to it, I feel the need to explain myself every time I have this conversation with somebody. Like: yes, I’m bisexual…here’s what that means and doesn’t mean.

But, ultimately, I am proud of who I am, and I love my life the way it is. I wouldn’t have it any other way… You just have to get to know me a little bit  to truly understand the real me.

 

30206_1341184818207_8340510_n

 

Advertisements

19 responses to “I’m Bisexual… #LGBTApril

  1. thanks for sharing! I feel like I know you a bit better now. I think being bisexual is a bit harder to explain, because most people can’t understand exactly how it’s possible? And I could imagine that the possibility of others just not taking you seriously is larger!

    And I don’t feel like you have to write it somewhere in your blog, like in the about page! lol! You not screaming it doesn’t mean that you’re hiding it. Besides I don’t see any book bloggers saying somewhere that they’re gay, straight, bisexual etc. It’s a book blog after all, not a personal blog!

    • Haha yeah I was mostly kidding about adding it to the About Me page 😛 It’d be like saying “…and I’m white!” or something haha.

      Thanks for your response 🙂 It definitely is hard to explain…even moreso than just saying you’re gay, I think. It’s something that not everybody understands, and even if they do understand it, it can sometimes mean different things to different people, so there usually has to be some sort of “story” or explanation attached to it.

      • I agree. it would be really weird to put it on the about page unless it were relevant to the blog.

  2. “put it on my “About Me” page” LOL. But I totally get what you mean by people not taking seriously bisexual women, probably because there are a lot girls who do it for -male- attention and that really doesn’t help. And I agree with Nadia, nobody adds and “btw, I’m straight” to their page, and LGBT people shouldn’t have to either. People just have to learn not to assume.
    Thanks for sharing your story, Miranda!

    And week 5’s link-up is still open (in case you’d like to add your post 🙂
    http://nijiclovers.blogspot.com/2014/04/lgbt-month-week-5-3-more-days.html

    • Yes, thank you, I’ll link up! I think I’ve written four #LGBTApril posts this month and I’ve forgotten about that (until you reminded me) every single time haha.

      Yeah, it really doesn’t help. I mean, I’m not going to sit here and say that people can’t do whatever they want, but I do think that there’s a stigma attached to it because of those women and it’s frustrating to have to deal with it sometimes.

  3. Hi! I’m a bisexual book blogger (in a relationship with a guy) too. (: I don’t really ever assume other people are straight, because I’m not. I’ve mentioned on my book blog outright that I’m bisexual, because I care a lot about diversity in books and for me, part of that is because I’m bisexual, and the other part is because I’m Chinese. I’ve been actively seeking out books with bisexual MCs and reading them lately, so I thought it was apt to mention it on my blog. It’s really relevant to my reading habits, after all! But I agree that it’s difficult to know if and when to talk about it. I’m glad you wrote this post though! I think it’s just a good thing, for there to be more bisexual visibility. (:

    • Thank you!!! Oh my gosh, I’m so excited that you commented 🙂 I haven’t found too many books with bisexual main characters (or even background characters), though. It sucks that there aren’t more of them. Do you have any good recommendations?

      • (((: It’s always nice to meet other bi people on the Internet.

        I read FOUR books with bisexual MCs this month for LGBT April. Four!!! I know, I was surprised. (And I’ve got another one on my TBR.) So if you’d like, you can check out my blog for reviews I did. I looked at your Goodreads shelves though and it looks like you’ve heard about them: Pantomime, Adaptation, Grasshopper Jungle, and Far From You. Pantomime was my favourite (so so so so good!), although Far From You was really really amazing too. Also, there’s Coda, which is the one on my TBR. And I’m really looking forward to Otherbound!

        There’s also this book called Boyfriends with Girlfriends by Alex Sanchez which came out several years ago now, but it just didn’t seem like my kinda book. But a couple years ago, I think that was like, the only YA book with bisexual characters that existed. You might wanna check it out and see if it’s your kinda thing?

      • Thank you so much! Ooh I just found your blog. Sorry, I would’ve just gone over there, but you didn’t include the website link in the comment form. But I found you on Google 🙂 I’ll check out some of your reviews!

        I guess I must’ve heard of a bunch, but sometimes I forget that certain books are LGBTQ just because I have SO many books in my TBR pile. I think I need to start a Goodreads shelf that’s “LGBTQ to-read” or something, haha, so that I don’t get confused. Thanks for the recommendations, though! I probably would’ve had a hard time finding those books in the black hole that is my Goodreads TBR pile 😛

        So glad you commented! I’m excited to have found another bi book blogger! We should start a club 😉

      • Ah, I’m trying to figure out how to get my username to link to my blog when I comment on WordPress blogs… Hmm.

        I’ve always been really into reading LGBTQ books above other books, way way before I started blogging (only started book blogging two months ago), so I’m really good at knowing which YA books have LGBTQ content!

        Thanks for the Twitter follow. (: I followed you back. Yes, we should totally start a club! I wonder how many people we could get to join, haha.

  4. FIST BUMP! Fist bump to all of this! I didn’t include my sexuality (lesbian, though I call it “queer”) specifically on my blog for a long time, I just mentioned it here and there in posts when relevant. However, I realized that it is an important part of my blogging/reading/reviewing image (for example, my extra dose of criticism on boyfriends in books makes a little more sense, plus all the LGBT books I review). I decided to put it out there because I wanted even the casual reader to know. But it does feel weird to toss it out there like that. Just another reminder of the constant coming out process and the burden of the decision to come out in our heteronormative society!

    • FIST BUMP! Thank you 😀

      That’s a really good point…Sexuality definitely can affect how you review books/the perspective you have when you’re reading them. I often have a hard time relating to the male characters, or even to the female characters who are like “OMG HE’S SO HOT *bats eyelashes*” I just don’t get it. But, that being said, I think that everybody has stuff that affects their perspective…it’s all part of being human. I think that people should just expect, when reading reviews, that each individual person might view the book a little differently because of the type of person they are. But I think it’s awesome that you just put it right out there! 🙂

  5. Pingback: Weekly Recap| Apr 27 – May 3 | Oh, the Books!·

  6. Thank you for being honest with us all and having the bravery and courage to let all of your readers know on your blog! It doesn’t change anything, but it’s such a big part of who you are that you should feel comfortable in explaining it.

  7. Okay, so I have been trying to make one of my glorious long comments on this post, but I really can’t. I guess it’s because there really isn’t much to say? Haha 😛 Thank you for being honest with us, though that seems like the wrong thing to say since you weren’t exactly hiding from us in the first place (this community is way too nice for people to hide, is what I say!), more like just couldn’t find a place where saying it didn’t come out of the blue. Putting “I’m bisexual” in your About Me would be just like me putting “I’m straight (*cough*SO BOOKISH BOYS COME TO ME*cough*). It doesn’t really say anything about your personality, so why make a big deal out of it?

    BUT THEN THINGS LIKE LGBT MONTH COME ALONG AND HURRAH YOU FOUND A PLACE TO SAY IT >:D Now all we need is a IAAGAILOB Month (“I am a Girl and I Like Only Boys Month”) so I can finally announce that I am straight! Okay, I’m kidding–sorry, I’m hyped up on Pepsi and I’m not really filtering what I type. Anyways. Moving on from my random blurting, I just want to say that I wouldn’t have it any other way either and I am very happy that you are proud of who you are!

    Now for a couple more random blurts:

    “My boyfriend has no problem with me flirting with girls…” <— Just wait until a girl who owns a goat farm steals you away from him. It's going to be so sad– you just can't compete with goats. Sorry, Miranda's Boyfriend, it's true.

    "What it is like is…falling in love with your best friend in junior high and then, 6 years later, watching her fall in love with you, too…" <— Sounds like the perfect plot for a YA book. Or maybe a NA book? Either way, it will end in a goat farm.

    Wow, and look at that. BOOM! Long comment, except it is less thoughtful and more random… Oops.

    • Hahaha this comment was totally worth the wait 🙂

      The day a lesbian goat farmer comes to steal me away will be the best day of my life 😛 Brent wouldn’t even stand a chance! 😉

      I’ve actually thought about writing a YA book based on that story…but I’m not much of a writer :/ Maybe one day, though. It’d be a really fun, yet emotional, story to tell.

      “(*cough*SO BOOKISH BOYS COME TO ME*cough*)” <— I think you might be waiting a while!! haha. There needs to be more bookish men in this world. Even my boyfriend isn't that much of a reader *sigh*. But my dad is, so I at least I have one book-loving guy in my life. You can't have him, though 😛

      Thanks so much for taking the time to comment on this! I'm glad that you kind of "got" what it was about…like, being able to "come out" without just being super awkward about it. Even though it's not necessarily something I'd put in my About Me page, it's still a huge part of my life and I'm glad everybody knows now 🙂 It's not something I want to hide.

  8. Pingback: Mental Health Awareness Month: My Journey | The Thousand Lives·

  9. Pingback: Life of a Blogger: January 2014 Catch-Up |·

  10. Pingback: I’m Going to YA Prom! |·

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s